Chapter 16 - I Can Be

Taken after CCA Rectuitment with our make-up unwashed yet! Really didn't know Shanbin was peeking through the space!

Wow, looks like I finally updated! I got bored of seeing the same post for the past few days/weeks on my blog. School has been alright, I slowly coping with the difference of lower sec & upper sec life and though I find it frustrating when I don't understand (who doesn't?), I'll still work harder so I can do well!

I really love Literature, I have a really good, strong based Literature&English teacher, Ms Chia, who is Snoopy-obsessed! Haha! Before learning Literature&English from her, I didn't realize there were so much details that could be dug out in just one simple line where an ordinary person would find normal and plain. Through her lessons, I really learn a lot! And today after Lit lesson, we had a mini conversation which made me quite happy:

Ms Chia: Jiaxing you must be very good in Maths right?Jiaxing: NO! I hate Maths!
Ms Chia: You look like those who are good in Maths
Jocelyn&Nicole talking at once: She's good in Maths, She passed the diagnostic test! I only got 8....I LOVE MATHS!
Me: .....I LOVE LITERATURE! *Spreads out my hands*
-Awkward silence-
Ms Chia: Yea, I can see your the Literature type
Also, I really like my class and the teachers(90% of them)! 3E5 is like a class of quietness, rowdiness, calmness(?)...Like, all in one! And guess what? We're the only class in Sec 3 Express to have so many different Combinations - Some take Geog, Some take Hist, Some take Lit, Some take POA, Some take Phy and Some take Bio. Although we have to keep changing classes for subjects, it still doesn't feel so.....messy you know?

Talking to my other classmates besides Nicole,Jocelyn,Jiasiang&Jiaxing is still kind of awkward and weird and...awkward BUT I'm trying my best to like..communicate with them a bit~ They must think I'm really quiet&shy and that's not my first time hearing that as a first impression of me but I'm really not that kind inside alright~! Just with new people I am T_T

Another thing to blog about is about Modern Dance again, though working hard for our CCA Recruitment, we didn't receive a good response from the audience (Not the Sec 1s but those who were watching). They gave comments that were hurting like boring, don't understand, we're going to close down etc. And I had to put up a fake smile the whole time while asking Sec 1s to join our CCA. Even walking around the hall was hard cause it made me feel like people gave glances at Modern Dancers that we're lousy. I don't mind that they don't understand our dance and stuff but why say that we're going to close down if they don't know what's happening inside our CCA? Why create such rumors that our attitude isn't good and stuff when you don't know how we are like?
Maybe you guys have that impression of us because of our seniors last time, which I still have no idea what happened last time as my batch and the juniors weren't part of the school that time. However what our seniors did, is not how we are now, and nobody would want people to look bad at them. You know it's hurtful seeing people like other performances but when it comes to ours, it's just "messy"? I know that our skills aren't those of clear-cut,distinct,powerful and in sync YET(!) but we still work hard to improve, step by step. That's why I really want to work hard for Modern Dance, not only me but others too, to bring back Modern Dance's pride. I want to get a Gold for SYF, We MUST get a Gold, at LEAST a Gold. Now my only thought is.........Is our dance routine, good enough to qualify for a Gold? Or is it just a motioned dance that our instructor likes with no thought of helping us achieve a Gold? That's what's worrying me. I enjoy dancing to it because it's fun. But what about the criteria for Gold? Is that routine good enough? I'm a minor at all these but it's just that sense of being unsure if it's good enough you know. And it's rude&disrespectful to tell an instructor, helping us to choreograph & questioning her if what she choreograph is good enough. It's like downgrading to her.
What I know now is that we, Modern Dance, will really work hard, to bring pride to our CCA, and not only for just a while but continue to improve, even if that improvement is just a small bit. I know talk is cheap, and I can really do nothing else but say this and work hard myself, but I hope/am sure the others want that too.

Heard that we managed to recruit 15 new juniors for our CCA, some which are guys, I'm quite sure some will quit after seeing the dance routine our dance instructor choreograph because they'll think the dance is weird and maybe even some guys will quit because they thought in Modern Dance, you get to learn BBOY-ing, but we don't learn that here, the BBOYs do BBOY-ing themselves, unless they won't mind teaching the guy juniors.

To end off, I found this song called 'I Can Be' by Taio Cruz and here is the lyrics which kind of relates to hardships and in our case, Modern Dance:

Now I feel that this hold of mine has taken many forms
Still sometimes the rain can turn into a waterfall
The prettiest things can come out of the coldest mind, yeah
And even with broken wings, sometimes you find your way to fly

It's time to be bigger bigger, stronger stronger, harder harder
It's time to be bigger bigger, stronger stronger, harder harder
It's time to be

Now I feel that this soul of mine has had its many tolls, yeah
Still sometimes the pain is what we need for us to grow, yeah
So when it's time for me to look into my deepest side
I will, I will find a way to hold onto the love inside

It's time to be bigger bigger, stronger stronger, harder harder
Yes, I can be bigger bigger, stronger stronger, harder harder
Yes, I can be bigger bigger, stronger stronger, harder harder
Yes, I can be bigger bigger, stronger stronger, harder harder
Yes, I can be

See I can be anything I want to be
All I have to do is put my mind to it and I can do it
So what I want you to do is put your fist to the sky and say it with me:

I can be bigger bigger, stronger stronger, harder harder
Yes, I can be bigger bigger, stronger stronger, harder harder
Yes, I can be bigger bigger, stronger stronger, harder harder
Yes, I can be bigger bigger, stronger stronger, harder harder
Yes, I can be
END GEUD!