Chapter 3 - International Dance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHl3YX4mwU8&feature=player_embedded
Saw this real nice contemporary dance of Beyonce's Halo - Beautiful~

Am dedicating this post to my CCA - International Dance a.k.a Modern Dance. Hmm, when it comes to my CCA, many mix thoughts come to my mind you know? Sometimes, I really wish to just let all my thoughts go and let everyone know but when I want to say something, something in me stops me from even thinking about what to say - leaving me with a blank mind.  Urgh, even now, I'm already all mixed up.


The reason why I can't really say much about my CCA is because:
1) Will receive bad talk, gossips
2) Will sound bossy
3) Will sound emotional
4) May be good & bad


So the only people who I have really talked about Modern dance to was actually Christina cause she's in the same CCA as me and we spend most of the time together. However, most of the thoughts are still kept in my mind and even I myself cannot understand it..Am I too dedicated to Modern Dance such that I feel like I'm the only one who truly loves it or is it that I'm just trying to tell that to myself to make me feel better? I really don't know.


But I really wish that by the time I leave my Secondary School life and carry on, I want to see my juniors, my seniors, my teachers of Modern Dance all really happy that Modern Dance has come far to be a good CCA for unity, personality, passion and just a CCA that people would enjoy seeing and not one that people gossip badly about. That's why I really want to do as much as I can for it but being not so good at dancing and even just voicing out, I really wonder if I actually can do it because now the state of our Modern Dance is really.......bad...I mean, Modern Dance has been defined as our seniors' dance group RMD, not all of us. And our attendance is really - I want to come, I feel like coming, I don't wanna go, I'm lazy to go, Let's go today, Today have to go there, Why is it that we have to go, I really can't go, I'll make an excuse etc. <- That's how our attendance is like and there are only few regular dancers.


To add on, I'm not saying we all suck at dancing and might as well not dance at all..I feel like we can all do it..Even have the potential to get Gold with Honors for next year's SYF but because of how we are now, we really need to improve ourselves a lot. Last year we got Silver for SYF..I think more of the credit had to go to our seniors as the steps we juniors did were like back-ups and props compared to the difficult dancers our seniors did. But next year, we are the seniors, we will be the mains, the one that need to teach our juniors and also do our best ourselves. But our attendance, our discipline and passion to want to work MUCH harder for our CCA and for ourselves aren't there....And I can't just go to my seniors telling them to dance better, because it's rude and I myself ain't good enough to do the steps better too. But I just wish we can all just work real hard for our pride, our passion for our CCA and not take it as a I-feel-like-it-or-not thing.....


Next year wer'e going to do contemporary for SYF - And I actually really happy about that cause it's either Folk/Traditional OR Contemporary so yeah..We found the teacher really #@^@&*@%*@^!)@ at first but sooner or later, we still have to go through everything...We say we love dance..But if we cannot even accept the dance the teacher teachers us, then do we really love dance as a whole or just one type of dance? Dance can be anything, so why do we complain and say "this type isn't the kind we do" then aren't we being too narrow-minded instead of wanting to learn more? I really disliked the teacher at first but now I find it fun yet weird because i'm not so used to it yet...And we should all be thankful for even having a teacher ready to teach us something..I wanted hip-hop for SYF but knowing that we can only do Folk/Traditional OR Contemp, I now know why getting Gold for doing Hip Hop is low..So we all just have to come together, really bond and become one where wer'e not awkward with each other, not separated into our own groups, not gossip about what mistakes we do, what we say, what we had done in the past but just be one.....


And you see, during this whole time, I don't even know what I've been typing.....It's so complicated yet I don't even know if the other dancers even want to bother about it or not...I didn't say they heck care about it or they deeply cared about it but....Ok, I'm getting confused myself so I shall just end my super mixed thoughts.


For now, all I know is that I'll try my best to improve, starting from me, then slowly with others..I'll try you know....But one thing I know is I won't give up on Modern Dance..I really don't know what happened to Modern Dance before I entered Sec Sch but what I know now is that we have to push ourselves up again.


This is such a complicating post so let's just really end it here. Byebye~